Why is it always me who gets all these shit?
Why can't u guys live in peace?
Why muz u two make things difficult for me??!?!
Morning, Mum was out to the market and dad came to tell me that my sis-in-law gave birth to my nephew yesterday and that he asked me to go and visit her & my bro together in the evening and I agreed.
Later mum came back and told me to visit my bro & his wife with her...
Here it goes...What the Fuck?!?! Both of u are my parents and you two are goin separately to visit my bro?! I am stucked in between as in who to o with as either way , both will be unhappy.Therefore I decided to came up with the idea that my tummy wasnt feeling well ( which is quite true as I have been running to the toilet a few times since yesterday).
So, Mum prepared to go out and ask me if I am goin with her...and I rejected...and there is where I stepped onto her tail....She started to scream vulgarities and sayin things like " You all have grown up, left me alone , I shall die alone , it's ok .... Next time when u get married , see how people will take revenge on u... see whether we will attend you wedding....go and die... u tink u r so great ?"etc and loads of very hurting words. Then she slammed the door and went out. Was tryin to ren3 till my dad came to talk to me and I started to cry and told him that not that I dun wanna go but I am feeling so miserable, being stuck in between the 2 of them and in order not to offend either party dats y I din wanna go. My dad told me its ok & asked me to go with him but I told him if I were to go with him and my mum sure has more hurting words to say again. And I kept on cryin' and telling my dad all these while, how difficult it was to always stuck in such situations as my mum is always being unreasonable and when u try to explain things to her, she juz wont listen and she will starts sayin very nasty stuffs, aiming at me and my dad most of the time ( and always n forever, my bro wont get a share of it).
After listening to me, my dad understood the situation and said that he will explain to my bro why I did not go. He too left to the hospital to visit my bro and his wife.
My dad , although being a hot temper person, he still listens to people for explanations and that I know all along he has been tryin to REN3 my mum , all these years. My mum always says nasty things about him behind his back, to her sis or frens, which at times I overheard it and I really feel that she is too much. My mum is a very hot tempered person who likes to curse and swear when she is really havin a bad mood and a few of my frens experienced it before ( those who saw before will understand how I feel).
Why can't I have parents who can be more caring towards each other ? Instead, always cant see eye to eye? How hurting is it for me to always hearing u people tokin bad abt each other behind each other's back? Been tryin hard to make situations better but each time, I am the one who gets all the scolding instead? I really envy parents of friends who r loving, and even if its not those loving type, but at least their parents wont be fighting like the way mine are. My dad has always try to be a gd husband, buying stuffs for the family whenever he has extra income, like the new TV that my mum wants, the New fridge , etc. Why cant my mum juz close one eye and appreciate wat my dad is tryin to do? Why muz they start shouting n yelling each time they try to talk? Why muz I be the one who is always suffering? How I wish they will remain like the times when I was down with depression due to work stuffs and they really sit down and talk to each other nicely....Muz I make myself go nuts again so that they can be on gd terms again? I am really at a lost... stayin at home can be very stressed at times, seeing both of them like as if they gonna start another war any moment....Probably dats the reason why I am not that close to my family.
Not that I hated my bro so much that I dun even give a damn to the new born nephew...those of my friends who knew that I was goin to be an aunt should know how little excited I was , searchin for baby stuffs or even thinkin of trainin him to be a dancer when he gets older...If I am really that cold hearted, would I even think of that?
Although I am not on good terms with my bro, but no matter what , it's still a gd news that there is an additional member in our family...My mum doesnt see that...and its really sad being in such situation....
No mood....super no mood....
Something to cheer me up...my best happy /cheer up pill ~자기야 & his smile
